Tag Archives: GOP

The Ballad of Trump and McConnell

Trump’s whispers are heard in the atmosphere, hovering over the populace like clouds that threaten destructive floods to come. Someone reports seeing a blue bird, which has by now become the omen that foretells an inauspicious day. Another blue bird is reported, then another. The people have learned to let the flying beasts come, lest they risk attracting their attention and having the roofs of their houses collapse from the weight of the things. After a time, it becomes clear that Trump’s aviary, gold-plated and obtuse, no longer holds life, and instead hangs empty, extravagant, and dumb.

The blue birds perch on fire hydrants, stoplights, and cars. Their feathers are of such a brilliant blue as to appear celestial—somehow, they glow. The people can’t help but look at them, slack-jawed and mesmerized, in wonder of how creatures so strange could be seen every day and still look so new. But the people are careful around the blue birds, for the birds are eager to return to their aviary and feed their holder Trump with the bread crumbs gathered from the day. Added to the normal cacophony of the day are the blue birds’ cries: “McConnell! McConnell!”

“Oh, boy,” McConnell sighs. Continue reading The Ballad of Trump and McConnell

Why I Like Palin

What is America? The default answer would include something about bootstraps, the lifting of which is available to anyone willing to work hard, regardless of background, in a land where all live free, and that, as long as you have a dream, you can aspire to success. Give it a few seconds and some qualifications trickle out, depending on your political affiliation. Trump’s addendums—hardly his alone—would include a couple of quips on the preponderance of the American military, the additional requirement of Christianity as one’s choice of faith, and the reminder that, though this was a country of immigrants, it never was a country meant to cater to them and it certainly does not, and should not, now. Sarah Palin further misconstrues what should be a straightforward answer, one noble in its simplicity. She popularized Joe Six-Pack, the do-it-all handyman for every male demographic Republicans seek to attract. In the process of political pandering, Mr. Six-Pack is meant to invoke the image of the ideal American—all of them, at the same time—though he works much better as an image of mockery. Continue reading Why I Like Palin